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Shabbat of Inclusion and Gay Pride
I was slightly horrified last Friday by some of my rabbinic colleagues’ Facebook posts. They were updating their statuses to say things like:”Tonight is Shabbat of Inclusion – all are welcome!” or “Tonight at Shabbat services we celebrate diversity.”
It’s when I read Facebook statuses like this that I tend to respond aloud (even when no one else is around) and say “really?!?! are you kidding?!?!?! tonight is a Shabbat of inclusion, but not all the other Shabbats, let alone weekdays?!!?!”
I celebrate diversity, year-round. I don’t treat anyone differently based on their sexuality, ever. I am part of a congregation/community that is truly welcoming, 365 days a year, to everyone.
I understand that June is Gay Pride month, and an opportunity to celebrate that people should be proud of their sexual orientation and gender identity. And for that reason, we’ll talk about Gay Pride at our streaming Shabbat service tonight at 6 PM Eastern Time.
But what I don’t understand is why any congregation would send a message that they are inclusive, only sometimes.
A Christian clergy friend recently posted this quotation from Liz Feldman on his Facebook page: “It’s very dear to me ~ the issue of gay marriage ~ or as I like to call it: ‘marriage‘ ~ you know, because I had lunch this afternoon, not gay lunch. I parked my car; I didn’t gay park it.” An excellent point.
It’s funny because I had been ruminating on this bizarre “we include all people, only occasionally” concept for a few days when a business I follow on Facebook (Canyon Ranch) posted the following: “June is Gay Pride month, but celebrating authenticity, diversity, and inclusion are in season all year long.” What a lovely sentiment – and the same is true at OurJewishCommunity.org.
Adoption of Judaism
Earlier this week, some Jews celebrated Shavuot – a holiday traditionally associated not only with eating cheesecake but also associated with conversion to Judaism – you can read more about that in my Shavuot and Conversion blog.
At OurJewishCommunity.org rather than referring to “conversion” to Judaism, we prefer to say that people can “adopt” Judaism. We have worked with two fabulous individuals over the past few years who have chosen to adopt Judaism through OurJewishCommunity.org. Bob’s story can be read by clicking here – and Tom’s story is below. Enjoy!
Tom writes:
“Since my childhood I have been fascinated by Judaism; there have been many events in my life which led to a strong connection to Jewish culture, holidays and rituals.
I grew up in a very secular home and we didn’t have a lot of religious traditions in my family with the exception of Christmas and Easter. Even though my brother and I were baptized, I can’t remember that we ever attended a religious service together with our parents. In fact, I don’t think my parents ever talked about God or religion at all.
So it was strange that I became increasingly interested in Judaism from an early age despite being brought up with relatively no religion.
When I was a teenager I started to read more books about Judaism and at university I even took a class in Ladino which used to be the language of Sephardic Jews. I saw a lot of sense in Jewish rituals, values and concepts like Tzedakah (justice, charity) and Tikkun Olam (repairing the world, social action) so that I was finally considering becoming Jewish. I was sure that Judaism was right for me.
In 2009 I decided to get in contact with the rabbi of the local synagogue and started attending Shabbat services regularly. I was very serious about becoming Jewish and I was absolutely convinced that it would be easy because I was interested in every aspect of Judaism and I also believed in “God” which I thought essential in order to become Jewish at that time.
But it turned out to be rather difficult.
Even though I didn’t have any problems with the cultural part of Judaism, I realized that I had concerns about the religious part. When I found out what traditional prayers were all about, I felt uncomfortable saying them during services. It was impossible for me to believe in these prayers because they didn’t reflect my personal beliefs at all.
They are all about a God who commands people to do certain things, a God who punishes us for our sins but who would help us if we praised “him” enough.
This, however, is not my definition of “God”.
I felt like lying about my religious feelings and I often asked myself if I could really become Jewish if I didn’t believe in this predefined God.
In addition to this I found out that this congregation was not as welcoming as I had thought at first and I often felt left out.
I wished that there was a more progressive kind of Judaism and welcoming community where I don’t have to deny my personal beliefs.
I found OurJewishCommunity.org later that same year by chance and I was amazed and fascinated by the Shabbat services. The services were so different from what I was used to and that was great.
These services include the most important Shabbat rituals like candle lighting, blessings over the challah and the wine but with something new: an interesting, intellectual and honest conversation about Judaism and theology.
This was exactly what I had been missing all the time in traditional services. I was intrigued by this modern and intellectual approach to Judaism and after a couple of weeks I contacted Rabbi Baum and told her that I wanted to become Jewish and wondered if it was even possible to choose this kind of Judaism. And luckily she told me that it was.
Rabbi Baum also pointed out in our first conversation that it was a process and I wouldn’t become Jewish overnight.
And she was right!
Adopting Judaism was a great and interesting process, but not an easy one. As a matter of fact, it’s challenging and requires a lot of soul searching.
Rabbi Baum recommended some books to study and asked me a couple of questions to think about why I wanted to become Jewish and how I would live a Jewish life. I must admit that some of these questions were not easy for me to answer. Though there are so many positive aspects about Judaism, you also have to consider the negative aspects such as Anti-Semitism or being part of a minority.
But the biggest challenge for me was to figure out how I was going to observe meaningful Jewish rituals and holidays, considering that I would be the only Jew in my family and didn’t belong to a local congregation. But eventually I managed to add them into my life.
This would not have been possible without the helpful advice of Rabbi Baum who helped me on my religious journey not only with her answers to my questions but also with her blogs, podcasts and weekly Shabbat services.
One of the books that Rabbi Baum recommended was about different God concepts and it is honestly one of the most interesting books I have ever read in my life.
I found out that varied God concepts are in fact valid within Judaism and that no single interpretation qualifies as “the” Jewish God concept.
Now I know that faith and belief are of secondary importance in Judaism and that a commitment to Tikkun Olam, Tzedakah, community and social justice is far more important.
It was interesting to discover that my personal God concept was close to Spinoza’s Pantheism, Kaplan’s Naturalism and also to Fromm’s Humanism. Before I read this book I hadn’t been able to articulate what my personal God concept was. I only knew that I couldn’t find it in traditional Hebrew prayers.
But the liturgy at OurJewishCommunity.org and Beth Adam is comforting, inspiring and doesn’t have a predefined concept of God – this allows me to include my personal beliefs.
I chose Ahron (“mountain of strength”) as my Hebrew name because of my brother whose name starts with an “A” and who had always been supporting me in this process of becoming a Jew.
Finally in February 2011, I had my Bet Din (meeting to formally adopt Judaism) with Rabbi Baum and Rabbi Barr and made my adoption of Judaism official.
I’m so happy that I had the chance to adopt Judaism through OurJewishCommunity.org because it offers a modern, honest and intellectual Jewish experience and through the work of Rabbi Baum and Rabbi Barr I was able to create a Jewish identity and a meaningful Jewish life.
And I can honestly say that thanks to OurJewishCommunity.org, I’m more involved in Judaism than I would have ever been in any other local congregation. Almost every day you get new and interesting information via blogs, podcasts or services.
It’s a fantastic, inclusive and modern Jewish community and I’m glad and thankful to be part of it.”
Grilled Cheese, Flip Cams, and Online Jewish Community
I loved this Pogue’s Post “Flipping to Grilled Cheese” in the New York Times last week. It might have had a lot to do with the fact that the punch line of the article was about gourmet grilled cheeses (sounds amazing!) and that a lot of the article was about Flip cameras (we love ours, though it’s not actually a Flip – it’s Kodak).
But it was also a really fun article to read about technology, fast-paced change, and entrepreneurship. Jonathan Kaplan, founder and chief executive of Pure Digital (the company that made Flip cameras and then got purchased by Cisco for $590 million) spoke to a Consumer Tech class that Pogue teaches. So much of Kaplan’s advice resonates for me in the work we’re doing at OurJewishCommunity.org.
He says “it’s not about the hour, day, week; it’s about the month, quarter, year.” For our online community, we’ve had growth since the beginning, and exponential growth as time has gone on. Measuring our success by the hour is fun – but seeing the impact we’ve had in reaching 200,000 people in 155 countries in fewer than 3 years – that’s astounding!
He says “Say thank you.” That’s something that’s so important to us here. We are so grateful to our financial supporters who make what we do possible, and we are also thankful for all of our participants – for people who read and comment and engage in conversation. For this is Our Jewish Community – and it would be no fun to be rabbis just talking to a camera, speaking into a mic, or typing on a keyboard.
Kaplan says “Anything is possible.” When we started our online congregation, many people thought we were crazy (and some still think we are!). They could not get their heads around the idea that community is changing. In order to meet the needs of a 21st century Jewish community, we knew we had to find new tools. We did – and so much more became possible than we even anticipated. All of a sudden we heard from families who have had shared Jewish experiences though separated by geographic distance, we heard from individuals who had been turned off by Judaism before but now feel connected again, we heard from people who have found true friendship and community in our contemporary community that values liberal voices. Anything really is possible!
Kaplan tells us “the product’s name is really important.” We didn’t want to use some Hebrew name that would turn people away and make them feel bad if they didn’t know what it meant. We wanted to use a name that says what we are. We are about people and we’re building this together – it is ours. We are Jewish – and we are truly a community. Thus, we – all of us together – are OurJewishCommunity.org.
I found this article interesting from a business perspective (to see Cisco’s process etc.) and as you see, I saw how it applied to our entrepreneurial work. It was a fun read – and now I think I want a grilled cheese to celebrate. I think I’ll capture the sandwich on my Flip Cam!
Possible circumcision ban in San Francisco
There’s been a lot of discussion over the last month or so about a ballot measure in San Francisco that aims to ban circumcision. The initiative seems to be gathering attention, and last week it went to a whole new level when the “intactivists” – as they like to call themselves – released a comic book called Foreskin Man.
First, the comic book. It is antisemitic. It portrays Jews in a stereotypical and evil fashion (in fact, the images are very similar to those used in antisemitic Nazi propaganda). The mohel (circumcisor) is portrayed as “Monster Mohel” and there are even trading cards for him; those say “Intactivists have been pressuring Monster Mohel to retire, but that will never happen. They will have to pry the scissors from his cold, dead hand.” Maybe I watch too much Law & Order, but it seems to me that’s a very real sounding threat against the lives of mohels.
Second, circumcision. I blogged about ambivalence toward circumcision in 2009. I recognize that it’s a personal choice for families, and I support their decision to circumcise or not to circumcise.
Now, the legislation. I’m troubled by many of the questions the proposed ban brings with it:
- The intactivists call circumcision “barbaric mutilation” – a concept that’s hard for me to accept. Female genital mutilation is barbaric mutilation. Removing foreskin from an 8 day old baby shouldn’t be put in the same category as they are two very different procedures. A family deciding circumcision doesn’t make sense for their son makes perfect sense to me; saying infant circumcision is the same as female genital mutilation is not fine with me.
- The intactivists seem to argue that there are “no medical benefits” of circumcision. It seems medical associations like the American Academy of Pediatrics have gone back and forth about whether there are medical benefits of circumcision. Some studies have even shown that circumcision prevents against AIDs. It might be fair to say there is conflicting evidence about the medical benefits of circumcision, but I don’t think the discussion is closed at “no medical benefits.”
- Such a proposed ban raises issues of a violation of the 1st Amendment protection of the free exercise of religion. While there are important laws to protect children against their parents’ harmful religious beliefs (e.g. if a parent refuses life-saving medical treatment on religious grounds), I don’t put circumcision in the same category as those other protections – since I don’t think there’s anything wrong with infant circumcision.
- I certainly hope that male circumcision is not banned. Perhaps there needs to be legislation around safe circumcision, e.g. who can perform them (I always prefer an MD) and in what circumstances. But, to ban a medical doctor from circumcising an 8 day old baby is ludicrous, even in San Francisco!
Using my Kindle for Wedding, Funeral, and Baby Naming Ceremonies
I didn’t leave home without it this morning. Knowing that I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon and that doctors tend to run late, I was careful to remember to bring my Kindle with me. That way I can read my latest trashy novel of choice while sitting in the waiting room.
My Kindle is the perfect way for me to read books, magazines, and newspapers. And it has been the perfect way for me to read weddings, funerals, and baby namings.
Until about a year ago, I would always bring my black leather notebook to such occasions. After standing outside at a graveside funeral where my hands were nearly too cold to turn the pages and after attempting to prevent pages from blowing in the wind at a wedding, I realized there had to be a better option. And there was: my Kindle.
Since we write all of our own liturgy here at Beth Adam and OurJewishCommunity.org, it’s simple enough for me to make a PDF of the document once it’s complete and then to transfer the PDF to my Kindle. It is easy- and makes the experience so much more pleasant. At weddings, I no longer have to try to juggle a kiddush cup of wine, a notebook that requires two hands, and sometimes a microphone. My Kindle is small enough that I can hold it in just one hand – which is great, because spilling wine on a wedding dress would certainly not be fun!
As you know, we use a lot of technology at OurJewishCommunity.org. We use technology not for its own sake, but because it allows us to better reach so many Jews around the world who otherwise wouldn’t have a connection to Judaism. I use my Kindle because it allows for smoother lifecycle ceremonies – and of course, because I need to read that trashy novel in the doctor’s office waiting room!
Oh, and if you decide to buy a Kindle or anything else on Amazon, don’t forget to use this link (http://amzn.to/eTPXYE) or click first on the Amazon logo on the left side of OurJewishCommunity.org so that we can get a percentage of your purchase without it costing you an extra penny!
Lawyer Complains about Paralegal’s Attractive Appearance
Last week I wrote a blog about some female rabbis wanting to be called Rabba instead of Rabbi – and I made it clear that I strongly prefer to be called Rabbi.
In non-rabbinic news, there was an article that caught my attention – for it too screams of sexism. It’s an article about a lawyer who complained about a paralegal’s attractive appearance. The lawyer said:
“Personally, I like large breasts. However, I object to somebody I don’t think is a qualified paralegal sitting at the counsel table — when there’s already two lawyers there — dressed in such a fashion as to call attention to herself.”
I highly doubt that any man sitting at that table in the courtroom would have been accused of seducing people with his physical attributes, and I also doubt a man’s professional skills would have been questioned based on his attractive appearance. Not to mention the fact that if this lawyer couldn’t stop staring at the woman’s breasts, maybe that’s his responsibility and not hers.
Grow up, boys. A woman’s level of attractiveness has nothing to do with her ability to get a job done.
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- — Watch Video-Streamed Holocaust Panel about bystanders
- — Our Holocaust page is up - including an online panel discussion event on January 27th
- — Baum's Blog on Lisa's Adoption of Judaism
- — Baum's Blog on Coco the Clown, Conversion, and Online Community
- — Barr's Banter on Hypocrisy
- — Join us for streaming Shabbat every Friday at 6 PM Eastern Time