Jewish Weddings in the News

August 30, 2010 · Filed Under Baum's Blog · Comment 

Two articles in the Jewish press really got my attention this week.  And by attention I mean ire.

The first article is by Rabbi Jason Miller and  asks to “Rescind the Ban on Attending Interfaith Weddings.” This is not an article about officiation.  It’s an article about being a guest at someone’s wedding.  Conservative Judaism forbids its rabbis from attending an interfaith wedding ceremony.  I agree with Rabbi Miller that this ban should be lifted.

Intermarriage is a reality and to tell those Jews who marry non-Jews that their rabbi can’t even show up as a guest at their wedding (even if the rabbi is the sister of the groom, for example!) is an excellent way to turn people off from Judaism.  It’s time for the organized Jewish community to stop building walls and to begin opening its doors more widely.

What I find most offensive about this policy of Conservative Judaism is that I imagine that there are many Conservative congregations that are happy to have interfaith families as dues-paying members of their congregations.  This means that the rabbi will not even show up at the wedding of this family – but will then “welcome” them by accepting their cash dues.  This is a disgrace.

If the Conservative movement truly feels that interfaith marriage is such a tragedy that no rabbi can attend, then the Conservative movement should not welcome interfaith families anywhere near its congregations.  At least then they would be consistent in their beliefs and policies – and likely out of business very soon.

The other article, “A Call for Moratorium on Shabbat Weddings” by Rabbi Leon Morris, argues that all rabbis, including Reform rabbis, should not officiate at weddings that fall during Shabbat under any circumstances.  I disagree with Rabbi Morris.  I tell couples that as long as it is “reasonably evening” I will officiate at their wedding on a Saturday night.  I am not going to make them check sunset times or wait to count three stars in the sky before we start the ceremony.

In liberal Judaism, Shabbat takes on new meaning.  We do not follow halacha (traditional Jewish law) – and thus can do all sorts of things that would otherwise be prohibited on Shabbat (use a light switch, drive, spend money, turn on the stove to make dinner).  I’m glad that we can do all of those things and have adapted our Judaism to one in which Shabbat means something different than it did for traditional ancestors in the past.  Many of us value creating sacred time on Shabbat – we may have dinner with family, we may go to services or watching video streaming Shabbat services, we may stay off of Facebook (I’ve not tried that!), we may go to a park and enjoy the beauty of nature.  If we’ve had a busy weekend but are lucky enough to get a day off midweek, we may even mark that day as our “unofficial Shabbat” – the moment in the week when we can take a deep breath.

There are many ways to mark Shabbat.  All of this reflects an evolving Jewish experience.  One that is not overly restrictive but allows people a plethora of opportunities (Shabbat or otherwise) to connect to their Judaism.  Truth is, most American Jews probably do nothing to mark Shabbat.  There are worse things in the world.

It is also interesting to me that many rabbis who won’t perform weddings before the sun has set on Shabbat will hold Shabbat services on Friday evenings long before the sun has set.  I assume the Friday night decision is out of convenience – so why do these rabbis operate differently about their rigid adherence to the law on Saturdays?

The letter of the law says that rabbis don’t officiate at weddings on Shabbat.  My take on the spirit of the law (far more important to me) says that we work with families to create moments that are meaningful to them.  If that means having a wedding ceremony at 6:30 PM before the sun has set, that is fine.  I am thrilled that the couple wants a Jewish ceremony – that they want a rabbi present – that they have found a time that their family and friends can gather in the way that is most meaningful to them.


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Videostreaming Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur Live Webcasts

August 29, 2010 · Filed Under Baum's Blog · Comment 

I am so excited that we will be video-streaming all of our Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services again this year.  In 2008, we first videostreamed our High Holidays.  A lot has changed since then.  Our community is now much bigger and more active – with tens of thousands of online participants from 150+ countries.  You can check out last year’s online Yom Kippur services if you want to see what they are like.

We now videostream on Facebook which means that we encourage talking during services!  You can chat with others who are watching using our Facebook, Twitter, or Livestream chat features.  Of course, if you want to sit by quietly, that is fine too; you can make the video full-screen.

We’ve been streaming Shabbat services as well for almost a year.  Those are more informal.  Our High Holiday services are live from the sanctuary at Congregation Beth Adam.  Times are at the end of this blog post.

For the 2nd consecutive year, we will also videostream an online Yom Kippur Memorial service.  You can read more about it here.  We encourage you to submit photos of deceased family members whom you are remembering during the holidays.

New this year!  We’re thrilled to announce that we’ll be videostreaming a children’s Rosh Hashanah service and a children’s Yom Kippur service at 1:30 PM ET on September 9th and 18th.

This year, we hope to also stream to mobile devices (iPad, iTouch, iPhone, Blackberry, Droid).  While all of the services are archived for viewing anytime on computers, unfortunately the archives are not accessible on mobile devices.  To watch the live streaming services on a mobile device, go to www.mobileJudaism.com during service times.

All of the services will once again use the liturgy written by Congregation Beth Adam.  You can download a PDF if you would like to follow along.  More information is available by clicking here.

This year’s streaming service schedule is:

Streaming Rosh Hashanah Evening and Day Live 8:15 PM ET September 8th and 10:30 AM September 9th
Streaming Yom Kippur Kol Nidrei (Evening) and Day Live 8:15 PM ET September 17th and 10:30 AM September 18th
Yom Kippur Memorial Live 4:00 PM ET September 18th
Streaming Services for Kids 1:30 PM ET September 9th and 18th

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Jewish Community should be more Inclusive

August 24, 2010 · Filed Under Baum's Blog · Comment 

I just came across this nice piece called “Checking Boxes and Changing Institutions.” Its writer Naomi Goldberg tells the story of joining the Jewish Federation’s email list in Chicago and needing to indicate whether she was married or single.  In a long-term and committed relationship that happened to be with another woman, Naomi didn’t fit into any of these categories.

Like Naomi, I am deeply bothered by such forms.  Having such check boxes assumes heteronormativity (that people fall into distinct and complementary genders with natural roles in life. It also holds that heterosexuality is the normal sexual orientation, and states that sexual and marital relations are most  fitting between a man and a woman). When synagogue membership forms have a line for the husband and a line for the wife, this sends a message that all couples should include a male and a female – and that being single is somehow less valued.

While the Jewish community often operates in a world that assumes a nuclear family that is white and has a mom and dad and 1.87 children, that is no longer the reality.  What does a typical Jewish family look like?  I have no idea.  But this I know.  It is diverse and beautiful – with singles, single parents, couples with children, couples without children, heterosexuals, homosexuals, blacks, whites, and every color on the spectrum; it may be faced with illness, or divorce, or children with special needs – or any combination.  Imagine if the greater Jewish community created an environment that was safe and meaningful for all of us.  It is time to break down the walls to make it so.

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Online Yom Kippur Memorial Service

August 15, 2010 · Filed Under Baum's Blog · 1 Comment 

Last year, there were several meaningful moments during the High Holidays for me.  But perhaps most touching was our online Yom Kippur Memorial service.

We asked everyone who was interested to submit photos of deceased loved ones so that we could all honor them during the High Holidays.  We will be doing the same this year, and we encourage you to consider participating.

Memory is a central part of the High Holidays.  In particular, Yom Kippur afternoon (when there is traditionally a service called yizkor) provides an important time to remember those who are no longer living.   Recognizing that many people have loved ones they would like to honor, we provide the opportunity for you to share their names and photos.  We include them in a slideshow that is part of a memorial service read by me and Rabbi Barr.

The service will go live at 4 PM on Saturday, September 18th and will also be archived for later viewing anytime.
If there is someone special you would like to remember this Yom Kippur by including their photograph in our online memorial service, please submit a photo by email (admin@bethadam.org) or by mail (10001 Loveland-Madeira Rd., Loveland, OH 45140).  Photos need to be received by Monday, September 13.

Please send only one photo for each person you are remembering, and please include his or her name so that we can provide a text caption.  All photos that are mailed to us will be returned if you include your return address.

If you submitted a photo last year, we will not automatically include it this year.  However, if you would like us to use the same photo, simply send an email to admin@bethadam.org indicating that.

This year, you will be able to view the service along with all of our streaming High Holiday service webcasts by going to http://bit.ly/holidayservices.

The archive of last year’s Yom Kippur Memorial service is available for you to view as well.

Part of what was so amazing last year when I watched the service online was seeing that there were hundreds, if not thousands, of others watching with me.  Many who had not submitted photos took the opportunity to type in names of those they were remembering in our Facebook and Twitter chat feeds.  People comforted one another.   Not only was the power of memory strong – so was the power of community.

If you have any questions about the online memorial service, please let me know.  We hope you’ll join us by honoring family members on Yom Kippur afternoon.  May their memories be for a blessing.

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